Spotting this picture pop up in my Facebook feed, it was hard to resist following the link to the full story at The Poke, a collection of funny blogs, posts that bills itself as 'time well wasted'.
And it nicely follows on from my post a few weeks back about the folks at Flickr who I thought handled a fairly major server outage rather well.
I really hope that this isn't a fake. Or at least the deflty-handled response purported to be from the Director of Corporate Communications at St Andrews University, Niall Scott, who was asked to verify if notice which appeared on campus was legitimate.
Let's face it, it's a funny fake. And a po-faced official might have taken a dim view to a Freedom of Information request enquiring about the veracity of the notice. Mr Scott's response is a lesson in the art of a well-balance riposte of fact, humour and policy.
Taking into consideration the subject matter, there's so many ways this could've gone wrong and I wonder how long it took to knock out (pun very much intended) this response.
Well, played. Like I said, I really hope the response isn't a fake. The names check out and I've emailed Niall to double-check. In the meantime, here's a snippet of his response:
A strong clue that the notice is fake is the line “Please go home and masturbate if you are bored.” As a matter of policy, the University would never encourage students to go home during term time.
I understand that two copies of the notice were attached, with chewing gum, to doors of the male toilets in the University of St Andrews Main Library on or about the afternoon of Sunday November 13th 2011. The notices were removed by Library staff shortly afterwards.
Far from having a policy on masturbation or outlawing the practice, as the bogus notice alleged, the University encourages the study of it, academically at least. Among the titles in the University Library is “Solitary Sex : A Cultural History of Masturbation” by Thomas Walter Laqueur, pub Zone Books, New York, 2003.
Available from the short loan section, and as of 3 p.m. this afternoon, one copy still available to borrow.
The full response is available in the original blog post on The Poke. It's worth a read.
UPDATE: Just heard back from Niall at St Andrew's University who confirms that the incident is true, and his response is genuine. Top work.
It always struck me as somewhat of a spectacular own goal that when Google launched Google Plus (G+) in late June 2011, that it wasn't available for the 4 million businesses coughing up real money for Google Apps, let alone those using them for free.
After the debacle when the big G prematurely launched Buzz to much criticism, this was the opposite end of the spectrum. Lock out the most engaged Google users, and those guaranteed to get the most from a new service. As you'd expect there was a fair bit of forum-based grumbling.
In order to get things working Google needed to roll-out profiles for Google Apps, which was announced matter-of-factly on their blog a couple of days ago. Considering the company's focus on being more social it's surprising they haven't made more of a song and dance about it...yet.
So, if like me, you'd been waiting to get your mitts on this and have a proper look-see without having to constantly login and logout of a personal Gmail account, here's a quick guide to setting it up (you can find the official Google guide here).
Step 1: Enable Google Profiles for Your Organisation
Login to to your domain's management console. If you use to access this from the link in the top right-hand corner of your Gmail account, you'll probably notice the link has disappeared. You can access the control panel directly using a URL.
The format is: http://www.google.com/a/domain.name
Next, select the Organization & users tab from the main menu then choose the Services option.
Scroll down to find the switch for Google+ at the bottom of the list of Google-branded services, see the screenshot below for an example.

Next up, there's a warning screen that essentially spells out, that by turning on Google+, you're letting your organisation's users control their profiles and get up to all sorts of mischief if they so wish. Probably a good time to check the company's social media policy.
Note the Turn Google+ on link is the text link, not the button.

Step 2: Individual Users Turn on Google+
So far, so good. Google+ is now turned on at the organisation level, but individual users need to enable their own account so they can use it. Just direct them to the main Google+ homepage at http://plus.google.com.
As long as they are signed in to their Google Apps account, they'll be prompted to create a profile and get cracking with Google+, it looks like this:

Et voila! Job done, your organisation's users will get access to all the Google+ goodies including: Profiles, Circles, Streams, Hangouts, Picasa Web Albums and Google+ mobile access.
For admins, Google provides a handy email template to let users know how to enable Google+ and learn more about its features. You'll find my profile here.
Photo (cc) keso s.
Fact of life: things break. Web services rely on power grids, complicated hardware, platters of material spinning at thousands of revolutions per minute, and that's before the human element is factored in. Come to think of it, it's rather impressive that the whole thing is so reliable <superstitious>touches wood</superstitious>.
What defines an organisation is how they handle themselves when things go wrong. Do they ignore their customers? Deny there's a problem? Maintain a status page with red/amber/green icons? Communicate status via Twitter.
Here's how Flickr handled an outage this morning (BST), have to hand it to them, it's absolute class. A perfect balance of information and light-heartedness. I can forgive them the fact that some urgent updates to the conference site I'm working on will have to wait a few minutes.
Here's what greets you on the homepage:
Mysterious, but a quick look at their blog reveals:
and checking the @flickr twitter stream:
Yes, it's still a bit annoying that the service is down, but I do love their approach. If you're on a tighter deadline, it's probably more irritating, but I'm a big fan of whoever is putting together their copy. Very nice work indeed.
UPDATE:
And here's the results of the pics that flickr users uploaded whilst waiting for the site to come back up, flickr asked users to tag photos FlickrMassageOct2011.
Maybe I'm being naive, but I can't help thinking that if Facebook faced a similar outage, the response wouldn't be quite so positive. Flickr has an awful of goodwill despite Yahoo's best efforts to ignore the service.
Photo (c) Alford Charlie.
Each morning I try and blot out the involuntary sauna of the Central Line by feeding my addiction to TED lectures. I love the brilliant speakers and the massive variation in topics. Keeps the old noggin' ticking over.
Amongst the recent videos I watched is a talk from the TED Salon in London by economist Martin Jacques. He covers one of my pet topics: China. Ever since I've been involved in running the Digital Missions at Chinwag, we've been looking at the best way for UK firms to build relationships and business in China.
Examples are very thin on the ground - seriously, I'm still looking for any IP-based business that's actually propsering in China - but there's no doubt that China will become the new economic super-power. To prosper, any country's exporters is going to have to wrap their head around doing business with China.
This video gives some insight into why a complete shift of mindsight is needed, and more importantly, why Westerners need to stop interpreting developments in China with Western analogies.
From the synopsis:
Speaking at a TED Salon in London, economist Martin Jacques asks: How do we in the West make sense of China and its phenomenal rise? The author of "When China Rules the World," he examines why the West often puzzles over the growing power of the Chinese economy, and offers three building blocks for understanding what China is and will become.
Photo (cc) Sam Michel.
A couple of years back I started using a tool called ClearContext, which prioritised the 3-400 daily emails I receive based on their priority. Some special algorithmic magic looked at how often I read, how quickly I responded to automatically work out what was a priority based on my behaviour.
It was a real boon - apart from those difficult but important emails which I tried to ignore, don't pretend you don't do the same! - and helped me sift the daily waterfall of email.
Sadly, since the move to Gmail in January, I've been missing this functionality. Until now. When Google announced Priority Inbox for Gmail, I was very keen to get my mitts on it. Whilst my friends tweeted about its appearance and started to get to grips with a new way of working, I drummed my fingers, logged in, logged out and waited. And waited.
I keep looking for the option in the menu bar and well, nothing. Surely, there must be some magical option, or was Google just holding out on me? Perhaps it wasn't being rolled out to Google Apps (which we use at work).
Turns out, there was no magical option, just me being a touch on the dense side, or, ehem, let's say busy with work. If you're facing the same problem, here are the incredibly simple (when you know how) instructions to make Gmail Priority Inbox turn up on your Gmail if you're using Google Apps Premier edition.
Login to Google Apps control panel and choose the menu option for Domain settings and scroll down to the section labelled New Services and Pre-release Features. Make sure the option for Enable pre-release features is selected, then click Save changes at the bottom of the page (see pic below).

You're done! It'll take a few minutes and you'll need to logout, then login to Gmail and the option should appear in the top right-hand corner of your screen in bright, shiny red. Click to turn it on and see a short video, which I've included below in case you're wondering what on earth this blog post is all about.
ASBO? That's Anti-Social Behaviour Order for non-British readers. This blog post could be called "what happens when behavioural targeting goes wrong" or "hunted by the remarketer".
The upshot? KLM is stalking me.
Here's what happened. I bought a plane ticket to Amsterdam for a bout of gastronomy and another task ticked off the foodie to-do list. After a spot of intensive searching, I plumped for KLM. Bought the ticket, took the flight, fab weekend. Voila!
Or so I thought...
I started to get a nagging feeling that wasn't quite right. First on a visit to Technews.am:

and then checking out a presentation on Slideshare:

and a spot of research on Drupal themes:

Seeing a theme yet? Now my Dutch isn't up to much, or in fact anything. But KLM's creative agencies were doing their job and I started seeing the ads all over the place, including whilst I was blogging for work on Chinwag.com.
Thing is. I'd bought my ticket. Wasn't buying a second one. Not a frequent traveller on that route. So, doing some guesswork on the targeting logic.
First-time buyer scores a ticket. Let's remarket to that sucker on every site that runs network ads (DoubleClick, I'd wager). But that logic is totally broken. How many times am I going to go back and buy a ticket? Straight away? Unlikely.
Re-inforce their brand. Well, yes send me useful emails. Let me check-in online. Provide great service, all good brand stuff but quite it with the constant ads. If this is behavourial targeting, then it's at best wasteful, and at worst rapidly becoming anti-social.
This evening's challenge: find a set of free icons which will link to core social media sites. As a minimum, the set needs to include icons for
and it'd be nice to have an icon or LinkedIn, too. Fortunately, the Interweb is littered with free icon sets, there, waiting to be downloaded. Hundreds, thousands of them.
So for your delectation, a (highly subjective) round-up of the best ones...
Free Hand Drawn Doodle Icons for Bloggers
from Spoon Graphics
Social Bookmark Iconset
from Vikiworks.com
Free Download Social Icons
from Design Reviver (missing Facebook)
3d Transparent Glass Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
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3d Glossy Blue Orbs Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
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Black Ink Grunge Stamps Textures Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
Silver Inlay Square Metal Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
Stitched Denim Blue Jeans Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
Ultra Glossy Silver Buttons Icons Social Media Logos
from Icons etc.
Handycons - a free, hand drawn social media icon set
from JankoAtWardSpeed
Social Network Icon Pack
from Komodo Media
Polaroid icon set
from webtoolkit4.me
(New) 27 Circular Social Media Icons in 3 Sizes
from Blog Perfume
Page Peel – A Free Social Media Iconset
from ProductiveDreams
Socialize Icons
from DryIcons
Social.me
from Junwei
Free High-Resolution Social-Media Iconset – PriceTag Style
from DeepuBalan.com
Free Social Media Icon Set: Chrome
from Chris Wallace
Free Social Icon Pack: Nurture
from David Leggett
Extreme Grunge Garments Icons
from Nikola Lazarevic
Other sites worth checking out:
The personal touch. Recommendations. Using your web behaviour to craft a personally tailored experience, resulting in happy customers spending more time and hopefully more money on your website.
And then this is what happened when I logged into the Hilton Honors website, in theory to book a hotel room:

Welcome to the Hilton, Mr Null, does have a certain ring to it. But if I'm going to pretend to be a celebrity and check-in under a false name, I'd like to think, even jet-lagged up to my eyeballs, I'd come up with something more imaginitive.
On the other hand, maybe they've got me sussed.
If the prospect of putting a line through the final item on a lengthy to do list is close to nirvana, then you're probably trying to deal with inbox anxiety, that constant battle to keep your email under control.
I'm with you. The number of unread items in my email inbox steadily grows mocking me, like my own person national email debt clock. Although I haven't had to make any bailouts (Select All > Delete). Yet.

The fact that everyone in your social circle has found numerous and ingenious ways to multiply those neuroses through social networks with their alternate inboxes, direct messages, pokes, walls and who-knows-what next, there's no way of keeping up.
As Dolly Parton puts it, "islands in the stream, that is what we are". It's a case of letting the social river drift by, dipping a virtual toe into the stream from time-to-time and trying not to get anxious about what's just floated by - let's stretch the metaphor - whether a pretty little fishy tidbit or something decidedly unsanitary.
Don't feel bad. There's not much that can be done without resorting to technology, which hasn't quite progressed to the point where it'll know whether to reply immediately, fib about a deadline or quietly ignore a friend request (don't pretend you haven't done it).
Don't believe me? Check out the numbers on this social media equivalent of the debt clock by web & TV clever clogs, Gary Hughes...
It's disturbingly mesmerising, which is more than be said by some of the bilge in my inbox. Better get back to it, won't delete itself now, will it?
Picture courtesy of Rafiq Phillips. Some rights reserved.
It might seem after the last two blog posts that I'm a little obsessed by swearing. Not true. Honestly, it's not.
But when I watched this video (prompted by this tweet from @damianjennings) about a new-fangled charging tool, Powermat, the clever use of bleeped foul language caught my, err, ear.
I think it's suitable tongue-incheek, especially in a supposed commercial, but you be the judge...