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February 2008

Google Pollution and Homemade Pizza Dough

Panasonic SD-206 Automatic BreadmakerTrying to find instruction manuals online is a pain. I blame Google. Or more specifically, the SEOers who are working the search engine algorithms for the online retailers.

It's happened to me a couple of times recently when I've been trying to find out how to use relatively ancient electrical items. Most recently, I was attempting the 'healthy option' of making pizza at home, rather than popping in to the local Domino's.

Panasonic SD-206 Automatic Breadmaker Manual Cover The bread machine (Panasonic Automatic Breadmaker SD-206, in case you're wondering) produces a rather splendid dough in about 45 mins, although go easy on the water. The recipes provided tend to make the dough a little too stick, using slightly less water does the trick, about 15ml, usually.

It's not that often that I get a chance to use the web in a way that say, my mum, would use it but this is a great example of when Google's just isn't helpful. Try searching for panasonic SD-206 bread maker manual. It actually works better with fewer keywords, try panasonic SD-206 manual instead. She'd definitely give up. Even the links that look like they might be helpful are pleas from other users for the manual, sites charging for downloads or non-English versions.

You'll be glad to hear (or perhaps by this stage, you couldn't care less) that I found the manual on Panasonic's website. I downloaded the nice shiny PDF to find some of the ropiest scans I've come across. Very funny. Still, at least I got my pizza dough.

Lessons learnt:

  1. Google is a highly polluted beast if you're searching for something that's heavily SEO'ed
  2. Panasonic are ripe for some SEO - get in there agencies
  3. Home-made pizza really does knock the spots off most take-aways

And if someone is looking for the manual for a Panasonic SD-206 Automatic Breadmaker, I've stuck a copy here. Although the scans are fairly rubbish, it's readable when printed. Happy baking!

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Basic Badge Marketing Mistakes

Admittedly, it's taken me an absolute age to sort out my personal blog. I've had one previously, but ran out of time to keep it updated. Fortunately, blogging, social media and community are at the heart of what Chinwag is trying to do, so I get to dabble and it's relevant to the day job sans guilt. Marvellous.

One thing that's surprised me is how hard some of the social networks and web-based applications have made life for me. I've been trying to find buttons or badges to add to my blog, partly so I don't have to replicate lots of information here and partly as an exercise in cross-linking. Roll on the day that there's a tool to manage all this stuff. My aged brain has plenty of trouble trying to keep up with all these accounts.

Considering word of mouth marketing is central to most of these organisations, it can be a bit of a hunt to find how to make these links. Perhaps, it's just the way I look at web pages, but judging by the instructions in this rather excellent post, I'm not the only one. In case you're wondering yourself, I've put some quick instructions below.

Facebook Logo - Finding a Facebook Badge for Your Blog
  1. Login to Facebook
  2. Navigation to your Profile page
  3. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page
  4. Click on 'Create a Profile Badge' link
Twitter Logo - Find a Twitter badge for Your Blog
  1. Login to LinkedIn
  2. Click on the 'My Profile' tab
  3. Voila! There's a link to Promote your profile half-way down the page
Upcoming Logo - Find an Upcoming Badge For Your Blog
  1. Login to your Upcoming profile
  2. Scroll down to the bottom of the page
  3. Click on the 'Upcoming Badges...' link
Twitter Logo - Finding Twitter Badges for Your Blog
  1. Login to Twitter
  2. Scroll to the bottom of the page
  3. Click on the 'Care to Share...' link

Gold star to LinkedIn who have the easiest link to find and a good variety of badges.

And whilst I'm in minor-rant mode, why don't they have simpler badges, too? The badges and widgets that have interactivity up the wazzoo are all well and good, but what if I want a straightforward image? Wouldn't a selection of different sizes logos in badge format be a useful addition, not just for bloggers but also press people or anyone who wants to make a generic link to their sites. Definitely missing a marketing trick.

Still, I can't grab too much of the high ground. A quick scan of Chinwag's sites quickly reveals that we don't have badges, widgets, logos or anything else, but having been through this exercise, it'll be one thing that certainly gets bumped up the 'to do' list. Embarassed

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When CMSes Attack

The Huffington PostThis screen grab is from The Huffington Post. I think it illustrates clearly why Content Management Systems (CMS) can sometimes be a dangerous thing.

The image appeared half-way down the page enticing readers to check out other content on the site. I'm not sure the way the system automatically chopped the headlines was terribly appropriate. I'll certainly be taking more care in future when Deirdre (Chinwag's editor) chides me for my over-lengthy headlines. Don't want no unfortunate choppage.

And for the record here are the full headlines from the Britney and Heath Ledger stories.

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Swearing. Big & Clever. Sometimes.

Sometimes, just sometimes, an expletive is called for.

When you've stubbed a toe. When the server you tried to re-boot remotely doesn't work and an unnecessary trip into the office is required. When the credit card company fails to send you a replacement for the nth time. When you fancy cheese on toast and you've run out of cheese. And bread. When you're trying to work from home, and market researches decide to call at 5 minute intervals throughout the day. When you're in a rush to get to the shops and some friendly soul has introduced a screwdriver to your car's tire.

I could go on, but you get the gist. So, two little tidbits, I couldn't help but share.

Stupid Fucking Mistake Ruining Whole Fucking DayFirstly, from The Onion. A tour de force as always. Such panache. Such a potty mouth. Probably NSFW, but depends on your office.

And finally, a witty, sweary ditty from sometimes controversial comedian, Sarah Silverman. Her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel, has a talk show in the US and at the end of the show often takes a pot-shot at Matt Damon, saying they've once again run out of time to speak to him on the show. This is Matt Damon's response, with a little help from Silverman. Not entirely what you expect from such a straight guy, oh, and not entirely NSFW either...

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